Life as We Know It

Acceptance.

2011-07-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

"Ask not that events should happen as you will, but let your will be
that events should happen as they do, and you shall have peace." ~ Epictetus

finding a little slice of peace through the acceptance of situations and through the acceptance of myself.....

my house will not always be clean
i am divorced
Bugz might be my one and only baby
i don't know if i will ever find love again
as a single mama, i am not always able to give 100% of myself to brody
i have a beautifully supportive and amazing family
sometimes i lose my patience
i am going to be 33 this year
i cannot please everyone
sometimes i will say the wrong thing
it's okay to say no
i am the best mama that i can be
i am lucky to be a mama
i might not always call you back
i need my quiet space
sometimes i get lonely
i won't post here as often as i would like :)
i work hard and am able to provide for my family
I have patient friends who have given me the space and time to get to this place today.
i have experienced love.
i have one incredibly smart and absolutely amazing beautiful son.
my heart is full.......

2011-06-27T21:48:00.000-07:00

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
~Joseph Campbell

and so i begin the journey of shedding the old skin......

2009-10-17T16:36:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, it's time to start posting again! Unfortunately it is not going to be as often as I would like but be patient with me :)
First things first, I guess I should mentiong that I believe my cricket problem is no longer a problem.... Yay for me!!!! And YES, I have showered :) Yay for you!!!
I thought I might just share some pics of what has been going on the past several months....

Some how my little baby boy turned three years old! How in the world did this happen? He enjoyed seeing all his friends and cousins at his birthday celebrations. (thank you's are on their way: ;) Momma took him to build-a-bear for a special treat.... who knew he would pick an owl. So brody now has a very stylish owl named "skreech" (thanks to auntie mimi) who has a pair of sketchers just like brody!!!!
We also got to celebrate a new edition to the family with Cassie and Kyle's wedding in beautiful Colorado. Brody experienced hail for the first time and attempted to lick it off the deck where we were staying.... poor little arizonian.
Brodes has been visiting grandpa and grandma Rauch quite a bit and is now a little pro at riding a big horsie. He loves to see all the animals out there on the ranch as well as to drive the tractor around like a big boy.

BABY SEASON....

2009-06-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

Sooo, as I am out and about these days I can't help but notice all the little babies that surround me. I have never really noticed this time of year when all the animals around us share the love and bring more little animals into this world. I love it!
The little baby ducks following thier momma and daddy around the lake at the park, baby turtles swimmin around at the entrance of the zoo, I even loved the tiny baby lizard that I watched run across my back porch this evening.
What I AM NOT loving is the millions of baby crickets that creep up my shower drain each night to put up camp!!!! Ummm excuse me baby crickets don't you realize that I do not need any more excuses from taking a shower?????? I love babies, I love animals, I even love some insects (well maybe not so much) BUT I don't like sharing my shower with them. Especially when they come in massive numbers. I could just picture myself getting brave enough to step into the shower and then being carried off like the princess in Desperoux. Yikes!
I'm not big on killing the little guys especially since they are just babies but I sure the heck am not going to scoop each one up into a cup and toss em out into the yard so that they can crawl back up my drain. So kill them it is.... the only problem is....bug spray doesn't seem to be stopping them. They just keep coming, even though they can surely see what it has done to their brothers and sisters. Watering them back down the drain doesn't seem to be stopping them either despite crickets not being waterbugs. Soooo it's official- I will no longer be taking showers. :) Consider this a fair warning.

GROUNDED.....

2009-05-31T15:45:00.001-07:00

This word has such a different meaning as an adult vs back when I was a teenager

(yes I did get grounded occasionally) :)

When I think about where I am at these days, this word sneaks into my thoughts...

Feeling in a good place.

Feeling good about who I am

feeling good about where I am headed.

Feeling more confident and HEALTHY!

Feeling at peace

feeling calm

my body is no longer so completely exhausted from fighting so hard to stay above water.

My breathing has gone from quick survival breathes to deep relaxed breathes- ahhh

my mind is slowing from a race to a brisk walk- I am actually remember things :)

Food tastes good again- hence the weight gain :)

I am taking better care of myself

(have a long way to go but... baby steps....)

feeling happier

letting go.......

sinking those feet deep into the sand.

feeling.....

GROUNDED!

WE REMEMBER........

2009-05-25T08:49:00.000-07:00

TO A DEAR FRIEND

JEREMY FRESQUES

WHO WE LOST ON MEMORIAL DAY IN 2005

YOU ARE MISSED SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!

TO YOU AND ALL THE OTHER FALLEN HEROS,

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE TO THIS COUNTRY

YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN...

THE GANG....

2009-05-01T12:20:00.000-07:00

Every so often when Ang comes into town we are ALL able to get together for some good times!!

THANKS LADIES....

for the good conversation,

for the laughter,

for the companionship,

and most importantly
for the cherished friendship!!!!

Wardrobe Malfunction.....

2009-04-25T15:46:00.000-07:00

My little stinker is quite the fashionista these days

he is going through a very difficult phase.......

his pants need to come down to his ankles,

his arms need to "hide" in long sleeves,

shoelaces CANNOT be touching the ankles and

the tips of the laces need to be securely tucked in....

he has to have shoes on 24 hours in the day- yes he does where them to bed,

momma NEEDS to be wearing shoes,

if there are ANY strings hanging off anything we are in big trouble,

most importantly,

brodes has to have an outfit on that matches whoever he is with- he can pull off one of Journeys dresses quite well :)

he constantly wants to wear jammies- and switch to a new pair of jammies every ten minutes.... this one is particularly fun when he has his "skateshoes" on and laces tucked in for the 100th time :)

Recently he has added a deep passion for hats .....

oh, and did I mention scarves....

he convinced little wy that he needed a hat and scarf on as well....

this night was a blast- Brody was adamant that he wanted to wear his shoes, his goggles, AND his hat to bed.

and he REALLY does love all of JoJo's beautiful pants.... these ones in particular :)

LOVE

2008-12-02T17:20:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for the unconditional love of family!
The love that encourages us to step up and support when needed,
to help out in the little ways that make the biggest difference AND
in the big ways that mean sooooo incredibly much,
to just BE there in any way possible,
to pick up the pieces if necessary,
to say "everything is going to be okay"
to lend the ear
and the shoulder!
Sometimes it is the difficult or scary times that remind us how incredibly blessed we are to have such amazing support around us.
I love you dear family and I am so very grateful for each and everyone of you.

30.... Bring It On!!!!!

2008-11-05T21:19:00.000-08:00

I really didn't know how I would feel about turning the big 3-0....
the more I reflect on it the more I feel excited about it!
I am 30 years old and gosh darn it, It feels good!!!!!!!
(so far) :)

I have learned so incredibly much through the past 30 years of life that I have been blessed with.

I want to say that I have grown more than ever over these past several years but I realize it has really been a whole different kind of growing!

I feel really good about the place I am finding within.
I feel happy about who I am and what I am learning about myself.
Life is not perfect but its perfectly imperfect.

I feel more at peace than I have in a long time.
I feel that I am FINALLY learning to "let things go" whatever those things might be.

I am letting go of being so resentful, of being so angry, of being so sad and hurt and frustrated. I am letting go of feeling betrayed and I am letting go of blame!!!!
I am letting go of being sooooo tired
tired of life
tired of responsibilities
tired of being a single mom
tired of feeling like a victim
tired of being in pain
tired of everything!!!!!

I am learning how to forgive......

and with that, I am learning acceptance!
Acceptance of circumstances beyond my control and beyond others control
acceptance of the many ups and downs of life
acceptance of the unknown

I am learning that life is really rotten and unfair and hurtful sometimes but that it is through these struggles that we grow the most and learn the most about ourselves.

I am learning that all of these things take time and that some days are going to be really good and some days are going to be really bad. I know that all of these feelings are going to try to creep back into my heart and that I will continue to work through this.

Most importantly, I have learned that all of this is okay
that I am okay!

I have one chance at life and my arms are wide open!!!!!!

So bring it on 30's
I am ready for the roller coaster.....
(I think) :)
what better day to celebrate CHANGE!!!!!!

AND
since this day really has never been all about me...
Happy Birthday my dear twin sis.
You are so many wonderful things,
devoted wife
dedicated momma
compassionate friend
beautiful woman
tender soul
I can never thank you enough for all that you bring to my life
Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me
for your loyalty and for your support
I love you so much!
Soooooo
Happy 30 you old hag :) :)
(that is for the comment on mom's blog)

Vacation At Last......

2008-11-01T21:18:00.000-07:00

Brody saw the ocean for the very first time on our trip to Cali!!!!
He was so excited to see what it was all about and loved running away from the water as it crept up the beach.
It was so neat to watch him explore and take it all in....

He also got to experience Sea World!!!!

He saw all kinds of fun new creatures and even fed some fishies to the seals
AND met Shamu for the first time as well :)
Wow, was that an experience or what?

The cousins had soooo much fun waking up with each other each morning and enjoying that refreshing sea air. I think the highlight for Brody was the garbage man that drove right by our hotel one morning :)

We all had such an amazing time. For some reason being at the beach this time was just so much more refreshing than I have ever remembered. I really didn't want to leave it. There is just something so magical about walking along a board walk in the evening and listening to the waves crash against the water.... ahhhh!

Thank you family!!!!

PS.... Jessie got some GREAT pics if Brody at the beach
check out her photogblog

Catching Up

2008-10-30T22:16:00.001-07:00

Brody received his very first award after completing a session of soccer tots....
he had a good time (dependent on his mood) but made such great progress from beginning to end with following directions and listening to "coach." It was so fun to be a part of this experience with little brodikens.
oh and yes his new hair do... (that sometimes gets done, and most the time does not :)

We drove to a pumpkin patch out on Ironwood and "who knows what", brody got to pick out his very own little pumkin. We got home to aunt B's house and this is Brody showing off the pumkin he picked out....

My little artist...... Brody's first attempt at finger painting....
Pretty good if I say so myself :) (thanks debbie)

Ohhhh and how could I resist posting this adorable picture of brodes..... he looks like a little turtle (like auntie Liz always called him since he was a babe :) )
Such a big little man he is becoming!
And such joy he fills me with!
My little boy showing momma his teeth. How precious does it get.... really????

I'LL BE TWO!!!!

2008-10-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

My baby boy is two years old! Wow, how times fly....
It seems like just yesterday that I was lying on the couch with little brody asleep on my belly. Just watching his little face so angelic and innocent.

Now he is a walking talking little stinker who rarely settles down enough to fall asleep on his momma's tummy. It makes me so sad to think of how fast these two years have gone by, but it has been sooo much fun watching Brody grow. It seems that he has just sprouted into this wonderful little being who amazes me everyday with everything he has to share.....

From his tender little heart that has so much concern for everyone around him,
Just today he tells me, "don't worry momma." As we were taking a walk tonight he tells Auntie B to walk on the sidewalk because the cars will give her big owies. While I was at work he tells Nonnie "don't cry", and as I am pointing out the crickets on our walk he dramatically adds "don't touch momma." My little sweetie bug. Such a small little being to carry such great amounts of genuine and innocent concern. I think he takes after his auntie b... maybe his mantra will be "don't worry be happy" too!

And then there is his excitement about life....
The joy he gets from the sound of the garbage man and the ice cream truck! "I do, I do momma," he tells me when I ask him if he wants to go for a walk or to the park. I'm not sure I know too many people who get as excited as Brody does to see scorpions and grasshoppers, flies and ants, airplanes and helicopters, motorcycles and buses, and now (thanks to Asher) praying mantis and crickets :)

and his many special little ways...
the strangely happy smile he gets on his face when he is pretending to be a dinosaur, when he very rarely tells me "I love you so much momma," the way he grabs onto the corner of the pillow when he goes to sleep, his little dance moves and how excited he gets when "The wheels on the Bus" song comes on. How incredibly smart he is and how everyday he surprises me with the words he knows.

Broders you are such an incredible spirit. You have brought so much joy into my world and I learn from you each and every day. You entered this world with so much sensitivity and caution. Today you are a such a caring little guy with the confidence to push yourself to do something exciting but still that little bit of caution to make sure you are gonna be okay. I love you my dearest little boy. You are a true blessing.....

Happy Happy Day!!!!!

2008-09-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday little
Wyatt Bear
Nugget
Beef Toad...
You are such a happy ray of sunshine
I love to watch your little bowlegged run,
your big grin with those two front teeth
your beautiful bright blue eyes
and your loving little spirit.

We love you so very much
and are so very blessed to have such a
special little nephew/cousin.

Happy Number One Baby Boy!!!!

Some Faves...

2008-09-06T15:53:00.000-07:00

My sis does an amazing job at photography!!!! She took some pics of Brody and I a little while ago and I got a little sneak peek on her photography blog. I have been anxiously awaiting the CD and when I got it this past weekend, I loved what I saw!
Besides some of the ones she already posted on her blog,
here are some of my most favorites....

Thanks for the fun morning Jess.
I am so very blessed to have you in my life
and so very grateful for these moments you have captured :)
Love you!

Camping

2008-08-16T12:01:00.001-07:00

Brody was in his ELEMENT out in the woods this camping trip!
He loved waking up in his "house", chasing butterflies and grasshoppers, walks through nature, rides in papa's truck, and of course catching "cardads" (crawdads)!

Some of the highlights captured....

Playing in the rain in his "hopper" rainjacket.

learning to swing the bat at the ball

(look at that grip)

my beautiful little boy...

and of course he LOVED walking bubba

best of all, being with family!!!

2008-07-17T16:34:00.000-07:00

Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

WOW!!!!
This quote speaks volumes and I feel it deep within me....

I heard this the other day on a video we were reviewing to show at a training for our foster parents. It really reminded me that I can teach Brody so many things through my words but I need to be so much more cognitive about what I am teach him through my actions.
A little scary :)
So many times I have ideas about who I would like to be. I can talk all I want about that person, but at the end of the day I can only hope that my actions have represented THAT person...
Especially when this little guy is at stake :)

I am from...

2008-07-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

My Mom did this a while back and I absolutely loved it. So now I am finally making the time to do it too. I would love to hear some of yours...

Here's the template if your up for it :)

It's harder than I thought it would be, but so much fun!

I am from...

I am from a cul-de-sac, from BMX bikes and riding down steep hills barefoot on skateboards.

I am from 1511 Sacaton Dr., dirt roads, dead ends, orange soda handed out by Joe.

I am from the honey suckle bush, roses, potato bugs, the green grass, dandelions and tumble weeds.

I am from playing board games and unconditional love, from Juanita Pearl and Turgesen and Grove.

I am from the warm sunshine spilling into the living room and beautiful relaxing music floating through the air.

From “finish what you started” and “be kind to others.”

I am from Wednesday night meeting and Sunday Morning Church. Potlucks on Sundays, getting treats on the long drives home, peaceful hymns, convention in tents, making whistles out of river grass.

I’m from Arizona and Norway, spaghetti and Sunday roast.

From the father of honesty and gentleness, who can make anything out of wood, enjoys sailing, golfing and reading, “life is good” from a mother of great unselfishness and a protective nature, who loves the beach, decorating and music, from four beautiful sisters who share childhood memories, laughter and tears and who support each other through everything.

I am from Holbrook and Farmington, family reunions in the woods and at the beach, college days in Flagstaff, road trips with best friends. From my parents playing the guitar and singing, being a twin and the three little ones, evening back rubs, “I’m a little tea pot”, bear traps, murder in the dark the old fashion way and British Bull dogs.

2008-06-18T11:31:00.001-07:00

I haven't been able to take many pictures of Brodes lately because my camera is broken :(
I took these with Britt's camera the other day and thought I would share.
Brody is settling right in at Auntie B and Uncle Cory's house.
He wakes up asking for "baby" and "aunt b"
and loves to have Uncle Cory take him out back to play with the doggies.
I am truly blessed to have my sis and brother-in-law open their home to us and help us to feel so welcome.

Brody at his FINEST!!!!

2008-06-07T10:09:00.000-07:00

Broders LOVES shoes....
He came out of Auntie B's bedroom wearing these shoes
and we couldn't resist capturing this image. (while we were laughing in hysterics)
He is holding up pictures of Mater and lightening Mcqueen
that Auntie had torn out of some "car" wrapping paper for Brody.
He is quite the little man. :)

Jeremy J. Fresques

2008-05-26T19:40:00.001-07:00

I remember the dances in 5th grade and how much guts you had to come ask me to dance back when the room was divided with the boys on one side and the girls on the other :)
I think I was like three inches taller than you too. :)
I remember late night phone calls (which really weren't so late considering we were in 5th grade), playing hide and go seek, and the many swimming adventures at your house which left your pool full of hairspray!
I remember moving on to Jr. High and how our paths split a little but you were always such a special guy!
Playing games on New Years Eve one year and begging our parents to let you and Justin stay the night with us girls (never happened)
I remember traveling to Telluride together... you, me, Britt and Mom Sherry. I was reminded at what a cheater you are when playing cards or any game for that matter!!!!!!
Jess and I visited you at your apartment on base here in AZ
floating down the salt river in our tubes
going to see men in black II as a fam (yes that included you ;)
Chats and emails here and there as you went through your vigorous programs in different states and we all got married
you were always such a strong individual.
One to always put your heart and soul into everything you did.
A genuine and kind spirit
You are truly missed!

2008-05-25T13:25:00.000-07:00

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together"....

-Marilyn Monroe

This quote has weighed on my heart since I read it this morning so I thought what better way to re-enter into blogosphere with a heart felt quote ;)

It feels good to be back....

Hopefully I will be able to keep it up now that I will be moving in with my o-so-sweet sis!!!

THANKFUL THURSDAY

2008-03-06T13:47:00.000-08:00

Need I really say ANYTHING more???????

Our little Brody is becoming quite the big boy!!! Already seventeen months old and time is NOT slowing down. He truly is the joy of my world and my love for him just continues to grow. It's actually quite scary!!!!!

This little boy is talking soooo much. Some of his newest words are....

cow, bee, candy (not sure who taught him this one :), dice (for out"side"), eggies, pancakes, bath, rocks, water, Asher, stairs, booger, fishy, shark, push, brrrr, choo choo, chair, bus, kitty, and most recently... "breakfast bar" (nonnie taught him that one)!

He wakes up every morning asking for his true love... Jush (juice). Usually after a little while he will take me to the fridge (which he can open on his own) and ask for his second love... "cheese!" Quite the breakfast huh.

Then, it is usually a decision between watching "cars" or "mow" (mickey mouse). Lately mickey mouse has been winning which is actually a nice change. For someone who doesn't like to watch movie's more than once, I think I can quote the entire Cars movie :)

Some of his other loves....

toy cars, necklaces (or anything he can put around his neck for that matter), shoes, headbands, balls, choo choos, climbing on things, rice, his doggie and kitty cats, bus's (especially when we are driving), oh, and he now has some kind of infatuation with "poo poo." He really likes to help mommy with the pooper scooper and will point all the "poo poo" out to me. Unfortunately he will sometimes bring it to my attention by actually bringing it to me! :(

He definitely has a mind of his own these days and I am extremely grateful for all that he brings to my life.

I love you little broders, brody bear, brody buckets, brodikens, bonzi, etc

A Trip Down Memory Lane...

2008-03-03T13:53:00.000-08:00

While Britt and I were at Mom's today, Mom was adamant about getting rid of ALL of the old prom dresses! Soooo we decided we would take a trip down memory lane and try a few on (especially the goofy ones...sorry Jamie :) )

any of these look familiar sisters???

Can you guess the year that these fabulous gowns were in style?

"material girl"Michael Jackson is missing his leggings! Sixteen Candles and...

teen witch called she wants her prom dress back (top that!)
I'm too sexy for my shoulder pads
Anyone for football????? "Ohhhh sexy girlfriend" Watch out ladies

in a few short years these will all be back in style!

How Times Have Changed...

2008-02-22T12:25:00.000-08:00

10 years ago you we would have been roaming Gilbert in Ang's jeep or throwing a party at Mandy's house :)

Not these days....

Ang was in town from Colorado so all the girls got together to visit. It seemed chasing kids around, changing diapers, and cleaning up messes took first priority BUT it was good for the soul!!!

"the boy's playing ball" the innocent ones

two little monkeys jumping on the bed
Although she probably didn't notice her this time around, little Claire will be so thankful for miss Presley as she is outnumbered by all the"boys."
Thanks for the pics ween. It was sooooo good to see everyone!

Grandpa GG's little BIG man

2008-02-15T12:22:00.000-08:00

GG took little Broders and I to The Farm for lunch on Wednesday. It was such a peaceful and relaxing day. We truly enjoyed our time outdoors, with the birds chirping, beautiful scenery, perfect weather, and wonderful company.

We ate a delicious lunch out on the picnic tables while Brody walked around making friends with other kids and deciding that their balls were his to play with. He had such a great time finding pecans on the ground and taking them over to two little girls that were collecting them. He has such a generous little heart (unless it comes to his cars).

After we ate we decided to walk around the area. There is so much more to The Farm than I thought. We saw local farmers tending to their crops, a little artist building that teaches art classes, a cute little place where you can get massages and an area set up for weddings. It is such a neat area.

After we walked around for a while we got something to drink at the restaurant and continued to chat for a while.

It was truly just what the Dr. ordered!!!!!!

Brody's first glimps of what real chicken's look and sound like

Of course we had to make time for climbing on things
following in Grandpa GG's footsteps...

Thank you Gramps for this lovely day. It meant so much to me and Brody had such a great time exploring and spending time with his GG.

Love you

Somewhere Under the Rainbow

2008-02-06T14:10:00.000-08:00

I was driving home from my parents house on Tuesday. It had been raining all day and to my suprise I saw the most beautiful rainbow I had ever seen in my entire life!!!

It was a double rainbow, one right above the other. The one below was as bright as could be and the earth lit up where it seemed the rainbow ended. I'm truly not exaggerating.

The one above wasn't near as bright and was fading into the cloudy sky very quickly.

I just so happened to have my camera with me so I told myself I should pull over and take a picture. I hesitated and then after missing the perfect opportunity decided if I didn't get a picture I would regret it!

Soooo I took the next opportunity to pull over, a dirt area right off of Elliott road. I quickly thought to myself, "maybe I shouldn't pull over here, what if I get stuck in the mud." and then I reassured myself "ya right, I'm in a four runner!"

I was a little disappointed because by the time I had convinced myself to take the picture, I discovered that the picture before me wasn't near as beautiful as it had been. I snapped two pictures in between windshield wipes and then realized that I couldn't get myself back on the road...

yep, I was stuck!

My mom came to the rescue and when explaining to her that I thought something might be wrong with my car and encouraged her to listen to the sound my car was making, she looked at me and responded "ya honey, I think thats mud." Maybe I was just trying to convince myself that my four runner truly could not be stuck in the mud on the side of a street of all things!!!!

At the same time little Brody had decided that he was getting tired of sitting in his carseat and began fussing to let me know it. I tried giving him candy and he just wasn't going for it. Then I realized that I had a small box of rice in the car that was left over from lunch at Nonnies so I put that in front of him. Brody didn't make another peep! Oh that boy has a love for rice!

Anyway, after much encouragement from my mom that nothing was wrong with my car I eventually got my car to some pavement and found out that my car drove just fine!

What an adventure :)

You wouldn't appreciate these pictures quite as much without hearing the story behind them and with the amount of effort that went into capturing them I couldn't resist posting them. :)

Little Broders at the end of the adventure with rice from head to toe!

Thankful Thursday

2008-01-31T20:28:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for strength!

for personal strength

and

for the strength of others who are facing difficult times

Adversity fills our lives

we all experience it at different levels and in different ways

it isn't easy and it isn't fun

BUT, we all get through it in one way or another!

I pray for strength every night and am so very thankful for the people that surround me,

who give me strength when I feel I don't have anything left!

Thank you!

Day Three and Four

2008-01-30T22:48:00.000-08:00

To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another; it’s to make the most of myself.

I AM POWERLESS!!!!!!!!!!!

(I'll shout it again)

I AM POWERLESS!!!!!!

However, I do have the power to focus on myself and my own healing,

and then LET IT GO........

It is so amazing how God works in our lives! Monday after I post I checked my email and found this poem waiting for me in my daily devotional!

Broken Dreams

As children bring their broken toys

with tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dreams to God

because He was my friend!

But then instead of leaving Him

in peace to work alone,

I hung around and tried to help

with ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,

"How can you be so slow?"

"My child," He said

"What could I do?

You never did let go."

Author Unknown

Day Two

2008-01-28T20:02:00.000-08:00

To “let go” is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.

This is a tough one. I tend to want to protect and prevent whenever a situation presents itself.

Even thinking about little broders, my nature is to step in and do whatever I can to "control" the situation. Yet at the same time I have realized that sometimes he learns the quickest through natural consequences.

I suppose it is the same for all of us, even as adults.

Thanks for listening!

Let Go, Let Spirit

2008-01-27T12:46:00.000-08:00

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To “let go” is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.

To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another; it’s to make the most of myself.

To “let go” is not to care for but to care about.

To “let go” is not to fix but to be supportive.

To “let go” is not to judge but to allow another to be a human being.

To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes but to allow others to affect their destinies.

To “let go” is not to be protective it’s to permit another to face reality.

To “let go” is not to deny but to accept.

To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
~author unknown

So my sister posted this on her blog today and it has touched me so much that I feel I need to post it on mine as well. I need to remind myself that I am not in control, that I am powerlelss. I have lost myself in the hopes of controlling what I am not in control of and it is time for me to find a healthy place again in this crazy world of uncertainty. I have to learn to "let go." So as I read this post I felt a little overwhelmed. There is soooo much information in this poem that I thought I would take it a sentence at a time.

So today,

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.

Ahhh, these words feel sooo good. I cannot make others do something they do not or are not ready to do. I can still care but I am not in control of what others choose to do. I am only in control of my reactions and responses. I'll just repeat it cause it feels so good... :)

"I am not in control"

thanks for letting me get that out!

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

2008-01-20T08:17:00.000-08:00

Papa and Nonnie watched little broders on Thursday night while Matt and I went to see

National Treasure at the movie theater.

(yes we actually went out)

We asked Papa if he would work his magic on Brody's hair as he is long overdue for a trim. For those of you who don't know, Papa used to cut all of his daughter's hair when we were growing up. I remember begging him to cut it short however only remember it happening like once in my life :)

Thankfully Nonnie got Papa and Broders on camera!

Thankful Thursday

2008-01-17T08:51:00.000-08:00

Today I am very thankful for my Grandpa!!!

He is a one of a kind

full of unconditional love

has the kindest soul

and would do anything for the people he loves.

Grandpa thank you for being the amazing person you are

and for the cherished role you play in my life.

thank you for our treasured talks and for your continuous support and for your trust and confidence in the person that I have become.

Thank you for all your funny ways, for all the laughs, for all the stories, for all the special memories.

I love you!

A Great Escape

2008-01-15T19:11:00.000-08:00

Tonight I did something that I have not done in a realllllllly long time!

I took some time for myself! Yah Me :)

There is nothing like a scalding hot bubble bath,

lit by candlelight,

with some slow and calming music playing.

I actually found myself swaying my feet back and forth in the water singing aloud about
"making the world a brighter place with my own two hands"

(I know that probably isn't a visual you really want in your minds but I thought I would share anyway)

And then, I did a little bit of deep breathing which led to....

JAZZERSIZE!!!

you know that old record we used to listen to as kids

"look left and right, left and right, up and down, up and down,"

"you got it baby"

No I wasn't standing up in the tub! I was just doing the neck excersizes you dorks :)

Anyway, it felt really good to escape from my world and just relax for a little bit!

Thankful Thursday

2007-12-27T18:24:00.000-08:00

Today I am very thankful for two very kind souls.... Shuazy and Jac!!!!! Happy Birthday to You!!!!

Thank you for the beautiful role you play in my life and for sharing yourself with me! I am very blessed to have both of you in my life.

Happy Christmas Eve Day!!!!

2007-12-24T08:07:00.000-08:00

Twas the night before Christmas When all through the house Not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse The stockings were hung by The chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The children were nestled All snug in their beds, While visions of sugar plumbs Danced in their heads. And Mama in her kerchief, And I in my cap Had just settled our brains For a long winter's nap When out on the roof There arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed To see what was the matter. I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutter, And through back the sash. The moon on the breast Of the new fallen snow Gave the luster of midday To the objects below, When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer. With a little old driver, So lively and quick, I knew in a moment It must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles, His courses they came, And he whistles and shouted And called then be name: NOW DASHER! NOW DANCER! NOW PRANCER AND VIXON! ON COMET! ON CUPID! ON DONNER AND BLITZEN! To The Top Of The Stairs! To The Top Of The Wall! Now Dash Away! Dash Away All! As dry leaves that before The wild hurricane fly When they meet with an obstacle Mount to the sky So up to the house-top The courses they flew With a sleigh full of toys' And St. Nicholas too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing Of each little hoof. As I drew in my head And was turning around Down the chimney St. Nicholas Came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, From his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished With ashes ands soot. A bundle of toys he had Flung on his back, And he looked like a peddler Just opening his pack. His eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, His nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth Was drawn up like a bow, And the beard of his chin Was as white as the snow. The stump of a pipe He held tight in his teeth And the smoke it encircled His head like a wreath. He had a broad face And a little round belly, That shook when he laughed Like a bowl of jelly. He was chubby and plump, A right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself. A wink of his eye And a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread He sprang to his sleigh, To his team gave a whistle, And away they all fly Like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, Ere he drove out of sight: HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! _______________________________

The Spirit of Christmas

2007-12-18T20:25:00.000-08:00

I don't think I have ever appreciated a christmas tree more than I did this year! We actually hadn't bought a tree yet and were debating on whether we even should. Money has been tight and Matt has been working whatever is left of his hinder off :)

Well, a couple of nights ago a very generous couple of christmas angels delivered a beautiful christmas tree to our front door. What an amazing suprise!!!!!

We made Sunday a family day and decorated the tree, listened to christmas music, baked some cookies, and I even decided to make a delicious recipe that I had borrowed from Pam... cheesy chicken tortilla soup! It was a very special day and I thank everyone who added to it, from the bottom of my heart!!!!

the beautiful giving tree

Brody enjoying his new ornament from Grandpa GG,

with cookie in hand :)
Decorating the tree

and then of course Brody wanting to take all of the ornaments off the tree so that he can look at all of them again :)
Thank you mom and dad for your continuous love and generosity. What would we do without your sweet sweet souls.

Thankful Thursday

2007-12-06T21:01:00.000-08:00

(okay so we need to update this pic :) )

Today I am thankful for.... Sisterhood!

"There's a special kind of freedom sisters enjoy. Freedom to share innermost thoughts, to ask a favor, to show their true feelings. The freedom to simply be themselves."

Author Unknown

Ring a Ding Ding

2007-12-04T11:50:00.000-08:00

So I just thought I would let all of you know that for some odd reason my cell phone isn't working. I don't have any service and cannot receive phone calls. It has actually been kind of peaceful but at the same time quite frustrating. How in the world did we ever get by without cell phones :) I was on the phone with a customer service rep for about half an hour yesterday and was eventually informed that I would need to go into a store to get it resolved.

Anyway, you can leave a message and I can check the messages from my home phone but just know that I'm not ignoring ya :)

Hope you are all having a beautiful day!!!!!

Thankful Thursday

2007-11-29T22:21:00.001-08:00

Okay so my sis began a wellness wednesday post that really inspired me. I really wanted to jump on the bandwagon but I feel that I am completely exhausted on every level that I don't have the energy to put into it. Being thankful comes a whole lot easier to me, these days especially, so I decided I would join momma with her thankful thursdays! So here goes....

Today I am Thankful for one of my very best friends....

Kari Kellenaers Gottschling!

She has been such a loyal friend since 5th Grade

and though we don't see each other very often

I know that know matter what is going on in her life, or mine,

she will always be there for me when I need her!

Thank You Kari Lou for your loyalty, honesty, for all your advice, care and concern, and especially for your treasured friendship.

Happy Birthday Bagonia I hope you had a beautiful day!!!!!!!

I'm sorry that I didn't call you today :(

Baby Presley Timmons

2007-11-16T09:40:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the world sweet little Presley LaRen

7lb 7oz

20 inches

We love you sweet pea!!!!

Congrats Mandy and Scott!

The four-some at our best :)

Thanks girls, for your loyal friendship!!!!!

Tribute to Baby "boy" Feigy

2007-11-09T20:15:00.000-08:00

The metamorphosis of the butterfly is a powerful symbol in so many ways for us when we are grieving. They are the beautiful tiny spark of life that came to us, lighted in our lives for a too brief moment before fluttering away. They are the hope that the transformation that loss brings into our life, can result in something different, something beautiful. We may not be the same at the end of our journey, but we have grown, we are able to see things that we could not before. They are the hope that we may swallow that butterfly soul searching for us, and hold a baby in our bodies and in our arms once more.

"All our Hopes and Dreams, now carried on Butterfly wings..."

"As a butterfly graces our lives with one moment's fragile beauty, so too has your baby's presence blessed you, and those that surround you with his short life, and unique spirit. May you find peace, and joy with each butterfly that passes, knowing that your baby lives on in the hearts of all he touched."

I love you guys!!!!!

You Say it's Your Birthday, It's My Birthday Too!!!!

2007-11-04T10:05:00.000-08:00

Gemela

A friend for life I always knew,

Look at us now, how time flew.

Barbie and the Rockers, playing house

Spying on our sisters, quiet as a mouse.

Skateborading down hills, flying off swings

what wonderful memories pain can bring.

Dressing the same, we are such a great team

A huge eyeball did you say you dream?

Laughing so hard, getting beaten with socks

I get folded in the hide-a-bed and somehow it locks.

Dances, boyfriends, fighting over the phone

Drivers Ed, you hit a cone!

Getting our license, you got a better score

but flunking that permit test we can never ignore!

Driving like a granny, very opposite of me

Somethings in life we never did agree :)

Forgotten hammer, what do we do?

spankings, hmmm.... we have had a few.

Getting older, sharing a room

Jon Bon Jovi was my doom!

Meeting new people, having a blast

then you wore that big purple cast.

California and Mexico, all the places we should go

Falling off stools, tires blow outs, with our luck you never know!

Volleyball every Thursday nights

Play until there are no lights.

Cover for me, I'll cover for you

I get caught, what else is new!

Hard Core, Corona, even a Bud Light

head in the toilet, what a great sight!

So many good times, You are a true best friend

with great thanks to you I send!

You have helped me through so many things

with the care your heart always brings.

I want you to know, I will always be here

I know our souls will forever stay near.

Britt,

I'd like to mean as much to you each minute of the day

as you have meant, dear sister of mine, to me along the way!

I love you sooooo very much and cherish the memories we have made through our journey together in this crazy life.

Thank you for all that you bring to my world I am truly blessed to have such an amazing twin sister!

Happy Birthday!!!!

Day 2 of the 3-Day

2007-11-04T07:42:00.000-08:00

The mini cheering section

Great Job Team Juanita....

Only two more miles to go!!!!!!
"I am walking for my girls"
more of the cheering squad
Grandpa responded with this in a prior post. It touched me so much and I thought it deserved it's own post. Thank you for sharing Grandpa!

Grandma was such an unassuming little lady, living her life in what she considered a small way doing what she could and never looking for accolades. In the 10 years since her death I think she must be dumbfounded at all the notoriety she has received each year in the past 3 years as family members have labored to keep her memory alive. In a small way she has become famous because of the signs with her picture on them studding the 60 mile walk for the last 3 years. As I sit or stand on the curb cheering the walkers on I hear people say "Oh I remember that sign from last year" or they say "Oh, I remember that name "Juanita" from last year". And each year for 3 years in a row our family has had 2 family members walking 60 miles in three days in Juanita's name. In that way she is not forgotten. And each year our two walkers have each exceeded the dollar amount they pledged to raise. Three years ago it was 2 of my granddaughters, Cory Decker and Jessamyn Rundio who walked and exceeded their dollar pledge and the last 2 years it has been Kenneth Grove and Kimberly Turgesen my son and daugher who have exceeded their pledge each year totaling in excess of $5,000 in 2 years time toward a cure for breast cancer. And members of the Grove and Turgesen family line the streets to cheer them on. Even our new born babies are there in their carriers to hear the cheers for their great grandma who will not be forgotten even by them as this story is told to them down through the years. I am exceedingly proud of my family. They say there will be no tears in Heaven but I could almost bet that Grandma Juanita is shedding a few tears of happiness as she looks down on the scene.
~Grandpa GG

Team Juanita's Kids

2007-10-31T21:15:00.000-07:00

Mom and Uncle Kenny are getting ready to embark, once again, on this amazing 60 mile walk to help find a cure for breast cancer.

The opening ceremony begins on Friday at 6:15am at Freestone Park! It is such an extremely touching opening AND closing ceremony so if you have never been you should come and see what it is all about.

My grandma Juanita Pearl Grove has truly been such a motivation for all of us participating in this event, whether walking, donating money, helping at garage sales, encouraging, etc. She was a breast cancer survivor and one truly amazing woman. ( I miss you Grandma) The fact that she is such a big part of this walk is so special. Not only is it honoring her, but it helps allow her family to have a brighter future with the possibility of a world without breast cancer.

Thank you Uncle Kenny and Mom for your incredible effort toward this cause, for your extreme determination and committment to something so amazing. I am so proud of both of you for not only taking this on last year but for taking it on again a second year. It means so much to me.

Together they raised more than $5,000.00 and I know that it wasn't easy.

I love you both and will be right along side of you wherever I am able.
I love you guys soooo much!!!!

Good Luck!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

2007-10-26T21:53:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the world little Elandro

Congratulations Rae and Hector on your new little addition to the family! We are sooooo excited for you and this amazing journey you have ahead of you. Can't wait to see the little guy!

Rachel you are a trooper for all that you have endured!

You are already a beautiful mother

and I am so proud of you!!!

Love You Guys!

Do They Resemble EachOther?

2007-10-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

I was going through a box of old pictures and found this one of Brodes. It made me think of the one of Wyatt that Britt had posted. What do you think, are they going to look anything alike?

We Love You Papa

2007-10-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

We are thinking of you Papa and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Praying for a quick recovery and looking forward to playing with you soon! :)
I love you Dad!

It's Been A Whole Year!!!!

2007-10-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

So, Brody is not the only one who has recently turned one! Uptown Girls Downtown Boys celebrated it's one year birthday party on Saturday to launch it's newest project.... girly birthday parties. Elizabeth, Amanda and myself spent the past three days rearranging the whole back half of the shop. (with a whole lotta help from the hubby's) We were really nervous as to how everything was going to pull together but in the end we were really proud of our store!!!!

We had a wonderful day and the kids loved it. So wish us luck on our new adventure and if you know of any little girl out there that is looking for a place to have her birthday party, send her our way :)

We took out the play area and put in three vanity's for the girls to get their hair done. (does the middle vanity look familiar auntie karen? Mom painted it white and switched out the drawer knobs, it looked amazing! Thanks Mom!

Some of the Princess's

We also put in three new fun stations where kids can make thier own lip gloss, shimmer lotion and fairy dust. This is Lexy posing in front of the shimmer lotion.

Blakey Boy and Kenadie playing in the bubbles
and the crew(missing a few )
Thanks for getting these pics Pam, so glad someone brought a camera!!! and Thanks Gramps for the lovely "birthday presents." I believe you are one of the most thoughtful human beings on the planet. What would we do with out your tremendous heart! Oh yes, and thank you Feigy's for your time and effort to print our shirts and pick up that darn cotton candy machine. What a lifesaver. Thank you all for stopping by and sharing your support it meant a lot! Wow, what would I do with our my friends and family!!!!! Love you guys.

Beautiful Morning

2007-10-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

As the mornings have gotten cooler, playing out back has been a favorite morning ritual for this little guy. It has been so nice for me to sit outside with my coffee and see Brody at his finest.

Doing some yard work...

Playing with toys, of course "balls"

Making a few phone calls...

Exploring the backyard...

Happy Birthday Beautiful Sisters

2007-10-18T11:26:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday sweet sisters, Happy Birthday to you!!!!

Okay so I have been unable to download pictures for several days. I tried today and got one, Cass, but when trying to download Amanda's it wouldn't work again. I will add her pic when I am able again.

Happy birthday beautiful women. I love you both so very much and treasure the role you play in my life. Hope you have a day as beautiful as you are!

Gratitude

2007-10-12T21:43:00.001-07:00

"You've got to get up in the morning with a smile on your face, and show the world all the love in your heart."~ Carole King

I know that the past several posts have been quotes but when I read this one it just stayed with me. I some how signed up to receive a "great quote to start your day on a positive note" each morning by email and this one arrived a few days ago. Beside the fact that I have a CD of Carol Kings that takes me back to the music that I grew up listening to, so receiving a quote from one of her songs was an added bonus.
It seems that sometimes life gets so busy that the kind acts done out of love for those close to us often get pushed to the side. We get caught up in our own problems and situations that the love in our hearts isn't alway shown. This is how I have been feeling a little lately. My heart is overwhelmed with greatfulness for all of you and for all your support, love, concern, care and kindness. I am so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by such beautiful people. I recognize that during times of difficulty I tend to close up and shut people out. Right or wrong, I guess it's just my way of handling things. Tonight I am comforted by all of you and feel compelled to share the gratitude and love in my heart.

Cleansing the "Colored Lens"

2007-10-06T15:39:00.000-07:00

"Ordinary people and ordinary events have surprisingly little effect on our happiness and peace until we add our highly personal interpretation to what just happened. Once we do this, we become victims of our own perceptions and believe that what we ourselves are doing to the world, the world is doing to us."

It seems that this last bout of sickness has really pushed me to think about steps toward change. Change that brings about a healthier life style and a healthier Cory. I have been reading "The Little Book of Letting Go" as most of you know this is an area that I really struggle with.
How is it that our minds get stuffed with so many thoughts, so many voices from the past, so many regrets, fears, memories that we create roadblocks to happiness without even realizing it?
"Once we think a thought that thought becomes the lens through which we see the world. Of all the things out there, this thought determines what we select and what we overlook."
Today I take steps toward identifying those negative thoughts that color my lens and I take steps toward learning to "free" my mind.

One Day At A Time

2007-10-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays.--R. W. Emerson

My Little Stud Muffin

2007-09-08T09:24:00.000-07:00

Nonnie was babysitting the little guy while I was working at the shop. I ordered these little green pants for him at market over six months ago. Anyway they finally came in. I couldn't resist trying them on him! He looked soooo cute I really couldn't stop looking at him and smiling. Just thought I would share. :)

A Spontanious Night with the Ladies

2007-09-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

Me, Elizabeth,Amanda,Misty

Okay so I have to start by saying this never happens!!!! None of these girls are drinkers, in fact I don't believe that I have ever even seen Amanda drink. It just so happens that she visited The Keg (a delicious restaurant in chandler) a few days ago and came across the "martini." Sound familiar Jamie????? It seems a little odd that of all the drinks that taste good to those of you that don't like the taste of liquor, it is a martini!!! Anyway Amanda lit a fire under the girls and decided we needed to get out, away from the hubby's, children, and every other responsibility we had that night. It was time to let loose. We ended up going to TGIF. I really don't think I have laughed that hard in a quite some time!

Thanks ladies it was much needed!!!!

Happy 11 months my little busy bee!

2007-08-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

Today my little boy turns 11 months old. I think to myself, "where in the world did the time go?" It seems like just a few months ago I was lying on the couch with him asleep on my belly. If only he fell asleep that quickly and easily these days...

He is such a busy boy. Wanting to explore everything his world has to offer him. I can't really blame him for being curious, it just makes his momma work all that harder :)

Brodes continues to LOVE music. He will hear a tune and it'll send him into a little jivin bug. His hip action would have put Elvis out of business.:)

He loves to take in his environment. Looking around, testing things out, joining in with the others. He is also becoming such an independent little guy. He used to cling to me when he would find himself in a new environment or around new people. Now, we can go somewhere and he is perfectly content on his own. We met Auntie Jess, Asher, Journey, Allison, Noah and Hayden at the mall this morning to play in the kids area. This was Brody's first visit to the little playground so I was interested to see how he would do. Immediately he was on the go without even looking back to see where momma was. It was fun to watch him and I can say that it actually makes me relax a little bit knowing that he isn't going to freak out if I am not around. Of course there will be those times but I am beginning to realize that with his independence comes more independence for me.... Yay!!!

Another "first"... he has officially learned to drink through a straw. Yesterday I let him have some of Matt's strawberry shake, thinking he wasn't going to be able to get any through the straw anyway. Well, he proved me wrong!

He is walking all over the place, rarely ever crawling now. His new favorite word is "hot." When he is in his highchair and we put his food on his tray he will say "hot". He'll walk up to Daddy or Mommy's cup of coffee and say "hot." Most often "hot" is used when we get into the car. Poor little guy that carseat really does get hot!

I think his favorite things are balls and anything that makes noise or plays music. He loves his little bug house that Nonnie gave him but is most interested in the bugs when Asher is playing with them.:) (of course)

He loves water and is absolutely thrilled to be outside. He now wakes up and reaches for any door that will take him outside. He'll cry when mommy says, "it's too hot baby." Perhaps this is why the car rides are getting much easier. When I ask him if he wants to go bye bye he starts waving his arm and heads for the door. He is truly delighted to get out of the house these days. I guess this means more growth for me as I am such a hermit! :)

Oh the ways motherhood challenges us!

Daddy Son Outing

2007-08-25T20:39:00.000-07:00

While I was sick, Matt decided he would take little Brodes on an outing to give me some healing time. Where did he take him you ask???? Brass Pro Shop of course :) Matt couldn't resist this new hunting beanie he found on sale for $3.99! (by the looks of it I really can't imagine why it would be on sale...)

Anyway, Brodes got to be the one to break it in before the big hunting trip this October. If you ask me, it just made me start thinking about Halloween.

What in the world is brody going to be this year??????

whoever said "dog" was man's best friend?

The Decker Family is on the mend....

2007-08-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

"Life is what happens to you when your busy making other plans"

It seems life wrapped it's arms and every single finger around this little family, and held on tight! It has been a missssssserable past week. Brody and I both went to the doctor last Thursday. He was diagnosed with a pink eye and a double ear infection. I was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection. Little did I know that was just the beginning of what life had in store for me. Things seemed uncomfortable but livable thankfully I made it to my dear sis's baby shower. Then, Monday I woke up with body chills, body aches, nausea, cough, MASSIVE headache, soar throat, fever, no energy, AND the lovely UTI. hmmmm did I forget anything? Did I mention that I had a HEADACHE!!!! Okay so you get the point. I think I cried to my mom everyday of that miserable, horrible, terrible illness. I am finally feeling better today! I'm not quite 100% back to speed but I am actually feeling like I can take care of my own child. Thank you all for all your help and all the phone calls :) Broders took his last bit of antibiotics yesterday and appears to be doing quite well. He is just a busy little bee. Needless to say, we are back in blogger action! Just had to fill everyone in so you understood where I have been, why I haven't returned calls or emails.

I guess being that sick kind of puts things into perspective... things could be a lot worse! My mom-in-law stopped by this morning and we had a good conversation about getting back to the basics of life. Not getting caught in the hustle and bustle of this fast paced world. Taking it a bit slower and putting priorities back in order. Simplifying life. My energy started flowing to the sound of a simpler life. In all reality I really think my health has taken a toll from being on the fast track. Time to slooooow it down!!!! Oh, and I will cheers to that too! :)

Love you all.

A Love For Fruit

2007-08-14T21:50:00.000-07:00

I was going to cut this plum up and give it to Brody in pieces but thought what the heck, lets see how it goes.

It's the first time he has ever had a plum and the first time he has ever had a whole fruit. He loved it!!! You should have seen him devouring it! Of course it landed on the floor several times but with the help from mommy he managed to eat most of it!

I think he gets that from Daddy. I have a select list of fruit that I eat on a consistent basis, banana's, strawberry's and apples! Broders has taken to most every fruit I have given him. Although, he has decided he doesn't really care for banana's anymore, I think because of the texture. His favorite right now is blueberries. He would probably eat a whole box of them if I let him! The thought of his diaper after a box of blueberries just makes me cringe! :)

Now that I am trying to give him a variety of fruits it is helping me to branch out a little. I figure it is time for a healthier diet!!! I read that diet and stress are two major things that lead to illness. I figure, I can't always do a whole lot with the stress in my life so I am committing to a healthier diet. (Did I actually say that???)

He Gets That From Me...

2007-08-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

It's true, Brody loves sucking on rocks too!

Whenever we are outside, the rocks are the first thing he goes to. I try to redirect him but after the 100th time I think to myself, "is it really worth it?" I guess its the dog doodoo mixed in with all the rocks that keep me on him!!!

The other day he was walking around the house and I noticed he was drooling a lot. I ended up pulling a rock out of his mouth that he had been sucking on for who knows how long. I have no idea where he found it, we hadn't even been outside that day.

Needless to say, I am a very proud momma :)

Thanks for the tag Jess

2007-08-09T14:16:00.000-07:00

Seven Random bits of Cory

1. There are very few movies that I can watch twice. Once I have seen a movie, that's it, no more excitement or anticipation. I already know what is going to happen so what's the point! That is why I never buy movies!

2. I got my tongue pierced my sophmore year of college! I know, I know, what was I thinking!

3. I absolutely love red wine.

4. I love the smell of wet cement and rain. When I was little it smelled so good that I would lick the cement and suck on rocks. I thought it would taste as delicious as it smelled. It actually might have, come to think of it. Not that I would do it now.

5. I have a HUGE problem being able to "let go." Be it "stuff", hurt, anger, sadness, control, whatever! I think I still have some old ribbons I won in a three legged race back in elementary school that I can't just toss out. Any suggestions?????

6. Okay, I am dumb as a rock when it comes to our history. You know that show street smarts? I would be the person on that show that everyone laughs at because I didn't know who the first president was. Well okay so I know that question but don't ask me any others. :)

7. When I was younger I loved to capture an intense moment by writing a poem about that feeling I was experiencing at that moment. I have a book of poems I have written back in the day and it's amazing how quickly those feelings can come back when reading them. I wish I made the time to start it back up again.

****Okay Angela and Christine (good reason to start a blog)

your it!!!!!

10 Months Old and Lovin Life

2007-07-30T10:20:00.001-07:00

Happy 10 months little Brodikens!!!

This little guy is such a joy to be around. He is walking so much and his personality continues to shine. He is into EVERYTHING and definitely keeps his mommy busy!!!!! His sixth tooth is coming in on the bottom right. He is turning into such a big boy. His once timid nature is fading into a little dare devil. He thinks he is invinsible, although, his feelings can still be hurt very easily (can't blame him it's a tough world out there.)

Broders I can't even explain how amazing that little spirit of yours is! Everything about you just melts my heart and I am so proud to be your momma. I love you sweet baby of mine!!!!

Cavities, WHAT????

2007-07-23T23:06:00.000-07:00

We bought this little guy his first toothbrush and his very own edible toothpaste on our trip to Target the other day with Auntie Jess. Last night he brushed his five little teeth for the first time and seemed to enjoy it!!!!

I tried to show him how to do it but he decided that he had his own technique,

chewing on the bristles.

Whatever works!!!!

(oh yeah, this was after he got in my cabinets, pulled the "light days" out from under the sink and decided to crawl around with them in his mouth!)

Oh Brodes I love your little ways!!!!

"Baaa"

2007-07-20T21:46:00.000-07:00

Brody has found a new love...

BALLS!

He has learned to throw a ball! He really

enjoys throwing a ball, chasing after it, picking it up and

throwing it again.

My little bugaboo is learning soooo much,

no wonder he isn't sleeping too well!!!!

He is just advancing so quickly with his walking. Last Saturday when we got home from Tucson he started taking up to five steps. Today he walked

from Nonnie and Papa's living room to the stair case without falling. It is so

exciting to see him growing and learning so many new skills. I can't wait for all of you to see him move :) I just realized that I am going to need to find him some shoes for our camping trip!!!

Any advice for beginning walker shoes????

9 Month Well Check

2007-07-16T19:54:00.000-07:00

Little Brodes had his well check today. It appears that his ear infection has cleared up and he is a healthy little dude. I was a little worried because he has been tugging on his right ear these past few days.
He received two shots, the polio and hep B, and handled it very well. He cried when he got the shots but as soon as I picked him up he was fine. Well maybe not "fine," his feelings were hurt a little. Now he doesn't have to go back until Oct. Yeah!!!! (unless those darn ear infections come back!!! ) The doctor says that Brody is okay as far as the number of ear infections he has had but if he gets two more before he turns one doc will have to send him to an ear specialist.
Brody now weighs 21.1 pounds and is 29.5 inches long. He is really getting to be such a big boy. I was just watching him sleep for a little bit noticing how big he is getting but how he is still so much a little baby boy :)

El Conquistador in Oro Valley

2007-07-16T15:12:00.000-07:00

Cousin Peyton
Grandma with all the boys
Hunter, Lexy, and Brodsters
Papa Al and lil one
Cousin "buggy" and his tatoo...
The boys wanted Brody to have one too but neither of them wanted to share the tatoos they had won at peter piper pizza.
Blakey Boy teaching Brody how to throw a ball
Brody's first attempt to wear water wings

He absolutely loved the baby pool area
cousin Kenadie blowing bubbles for brody
Getting ready for the pool
our little "big" visitor
Auntie Amanda and Blakey Boy

Baby Steps

2007-07-15T19:39:00.001-07:00

Photobucket Album

To see Brody in action, double click on the image above. This will take you to a photobucket webpage. When you get there, double click on the image of Brody one more time and you will see the little man's new moves!

My Little Gremlin...

2007-07-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

mischievous lil stinker
resembling my old troll doll
just looking for trouble

Decker Family Vacation

2007-07-11T10:55:00.001-07:00

Hi all! I meant to put this post up before I left and then time just seemed to pass by soooo quickly that I didn't end up doing it. I will be in Tucson with the Decker clan from the 8th through the 14th or 15th. It is their annual vacation that we go on every year and the first one for little brodikins. The Thursday before we left my air conditioner went out. That took some time to get taken care of but thankfully it is now working. Not to mention little Brody has another ear infection in his left ear. Soooo if I haven't returned your emails or phone calls, that is why. I had a quick minute while brody was sleeping to log onto Elizabeth's computer before we head down to the pool. I will have a lot of pictures to share when I get back in town. Love you all and talk to you soon! Thanks for all your thought and prayers!!!!

Gratitude

2007-07-02T12:09:00.000-07:00

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you." 1 Th 3:16-18

Today I woke up feeling a little run down and emotional. Perhaps it was the short but loooong weekend to Farmington for our 10 year reunion (a whole separate blog) with a 9 month old (yes he is nine months now). Or, maybe it was the idea of coming home to "reality" from such a care-free weekend. Oh and it definitely could be the fact that my mom is going to be gone this whole week and she is my biggest help with the little guy. Anyway it has just been one of those mornings that the demands of being a mom have taken priority over anything else I might be feeling or going through. I really needed to dig deep for the strength that was being demanded.
So I was thinking about my current situation and began soaking in how extremely blessed I am to have soooooo many supportive people around me. I am blessed beyond words to have such amazing friends and family in my life! So during a time that I am feeling weak I am strengthened by all of you. I am soooo thankful for all your encouragement, your support, kindness, forgiveness, compassion, open hearts, open mindedness, love and care!
I was listening to a song this morning and these words just stood out to me...

"We live, we love, we forgive and never give up, for the days that were given are gifts from above, so today we remember to live and to love."

So today I am comforted by the unconditional love that surrounds me and want to send a little bit of love right back your way. Thank you all soooo much for the role you play in my life. I love you!!!!!!

Eight Months Old!

2007-06-01T18:00:00.000-07:00

Broders is such a happy little eight month old!!!! His big personality has really started shining more and more this past month! He loves to explore, especially now that he can crawl. He is a curious little boy but is very cautious at the same time. His delight shines through his big bright eyes and you can see right into his big loving soul. His smile can light up a room especially with those two beautiful little teeth.

He now pulls himself up into a standing position from whatever is in reach. He is trying to teach himself how to get back down to the sitting position but hasn't quite mastered that skill yet. He has learned to bend forward to dip his face into his bath water. He is very proud of himself for doing this act and will lift his face with a smile like he has just won the biggest award in the world. Of course we cheer and clap and go on and on like he did too! He loves to plant wet kisses right on mommy's mouth and of course we can't forget the raspberries!!!

I think the skill he enjoys doing the most that he has learned over this past month is, waving bye bye. He wakes up waving bye bye. I think he practices in his sleep. Occasionally, he will throw in a "ba ba," when he waves. Of course this makes his mommy very proud even if he doesn't know what he is saying!!!!! :) We love our little "brody bear, bonzi, brody buckets, little man, bubba, broders, bugaboo!"

Thank You Tia!!!!

2007-05-30T15:36:00.000-07:00

Thank you Tia for my new shirt. I love it and mommy tells me that I look soooo handsome in it. I love you and miss you tons and tons. Can you come visit me soon????

Update

2007-05-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

I took little man to the doctor again yesterday. He had become really congested with a constant runny nose and horrible cough. The doc checked him out and concluded that brod now has a bad ear infection in his left ear and the one in his right still doesn't look good either. Soooo he prescribed a stronger antibiotic and gave us a prescribed cough and congestion medicine. Yesterday later afternoon we started to see more smiles from our little baby boy. This morning he seems to be doing better after a good night sleep (finally)!!!!!!!!

I ended up getting sick with the flu on Sunday and was pretty much in bed Sunday and Monday. Not fun at all!!! I was considering the aching body and chills worse than child birth at the time but the more I consider, there probably isn't anything quite like child birth :) I do have to share this though. I am not one to take a lot of medicines for things but someone from Matt's work recommended this blue liquid tylenol cold and flu and I am telling you it is a hidden treasure!!! It worked soooo well I was in awe! Sooo just thought I would pass it along in case that wonderful flu bug finds itself settling in your home :)

2007-05-24T15:22:00.000-07:00

My little happy boy is sick again! Little Brodes came down with a 102 temp yesterday evening and it continued through the night. I don't think I have ever seen this little guy as lethargic as he has been today. We went to see the Doctor and apparently Brody has another ear infection (yes his third) and a bright red little throat with puss pockets on it. The Doc prescribed amoxicillin so hopefully he will be feeling better soon. Needless to say, I am EXHAUSTED!!!! :)

PS. If you look closely at the second pic of Brody you can see that he now has two little teeth. He has also turned into a little four legged motorbug. Yep, he is officially crawling!!!

Water Baby

2007-05-20T11:51:00.000-07:00

Brody has developed a LOVE for water! He loves splish splashin away in the pool and in his tubby. Recently he has found new interests during tubby time. One being his washcloth. He likes to put it in his mouth and suck the water out of it... sounds delicious. Second, he is now very intrigued by his boy parts. He looks down, grabs it and smiles in delight at this new treasure. :) Boys!!!!!

2007-05-20T11:32:00.000-07:00

Brody's first ride in the bike buggy that Papa Al and Grandma Cheryl gave us for Christmas. He is still a little too small for it but had a good time being pulled by Daddy for a short time. Mommy even tried it out for a quick ride around the block. :)

Simplicity

2007-05-06T16:28:00.000-07:00

I hear a cry coming from Brody's bedroom that tells me he is ready to get up from his nap. I pick him up and say "good morning sunshine" several times as I hold him tight. He immediately stops crying and I can see that he is curious about everything around him. He sees bubba, we are babysitting for the weekend, and just stares at him. I study his little profile and can see little imprints on his cheek from the way he was sleeping. His little eyes look tired and he has a groggy look on his face. Just staring at this little guy makes me think about how innocent he is. He just takes everything in with such happiness.
The click of my tongue can bring a huge smile to his face, a toss in the air can make him laugh from his belly, a simple "peek-a-boo, I see you" can make him bounce around with glee, waiting with a smile on his face for me to say it again. A familiar "dito, dito, dito," from Nonnie can bring joy to his eyes.
I put a piece of something toward his mouth and he opens up trusting me with whatever might be in my hand. When life gets a little sad or frustrating he holds his hands up for me to pick him up and hold him in my arms. Somehow being in my arms makes everything seem to go away.
How is it that this simplicity gets taken from our spirits???? Is there a way to savor it? When do we learn "to trust no one?" At what age does happiness turn into this destination that everyone wants to get to? What is it that makes a person so unhappy that he or she would take another life without any remorse?
It makes me sad to think that this sweet innocence will slowly be drained from my happy little boy. That life will happen and being held by his mommy will no longer comfort him through adversity, that "dito, dito, dito" and "peek-a-boo I see you" will no longer light up his face. I can't help but wonder if there is something that I can do to help him hang on to this simple happiness.

A to the B to the Q, and looooong overdue!!!

2007-05-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

Thank you sweet sisters of mine for this memorable trip. It felt so great to be with sizzles. Thanks for the great chats, delicious meals, patience on the loooong drive, help with the wee ones, fun outings, and especially for being such wonderful individuals. I love you dingbats!!!!

Soooo what's next??????

7 Months Old

2007-04-29T10:39:00.000-07:00

Today my little boy turns a big 7 months old. WOW, how time flies when your having fun!!! :) This past seven months have been so many things... hard, stressful, wonderful, exciting, tiring, unbelievable, you get the picture. This unique little spirit has brought soooo much emotion into Matt and I's life. He is quickly becoming his own little person and it has been so amazing to watch. He is a baby that LOVES animals, loves to chew on things, loves to be around people, loves music, becomes overwhelmed with a lot of noise, is timid around people he doesn't know, likes his outdoor walks in his stroller, enjoys his "tubby time," loves to bounce around in his johnny jumper (even though he has outgrown it), loves to smile and shout out with excitement, is intrigued by watching his cousin Asher, isn't afraid to express his frustration and sadness and is quickly beginning to enjoy his independence more and more while clinging to the dependence of mom and dad at the same time. Nope he isn't sleeping through the night yet, yes he is already learning to manipulate and is already getting into trouble! So much to appreciate and so much to look forward to. We love this little 7 month old joy.

Easter Joy

2007-04-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

Brody's first Easter Sunday!!!!! What a little joy. We went to church that morning. I was nervous because my little sweet pea is very vocal now and I am not ready to put him in the little daycare yet! This has been a little bit of a problem in my attendence at church :( Brody did a great job on this particular day. He woke up in such a happy mood. He wanted to share his happiness with everyone toward the end so his Daddy walked with him outside. I think he likes the loud music. It was a wonderful service and much needed :) We stopped by his Papa Al and Grandma Cheryl's house on the way home from church. He opened his easter bag and immediately enjoyed chomping on a rubber easter ducky.
We then drove out to auntie Amanda and Elizabeth's house where we got to see all the cousins, aunt and uncles, and Goonie and Papa Jerry. We had a delicious lunch and watched the kids play on a huge blow up waterslide. Of course my little bugaboo has a little while before he can go play with the big kids. He and Blakey Boy stayed in and interacted a little with Blake poking his fingers in Brody's mouth and eyes and Brody grabbing at Blakes face.
Afterward we went to Nonnie and Papa's house for yummy homemade icecream and wonderful time spent with auntie, cousins, and Nonnie and papa. An eventful day and a precious FIRST for my little baby.

Catching Up

2007-04-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

This was Brody's wobbly start to sitting on his very own. He was able to sit and play with his toys for a short time before knocking himself over by holding a toy too high up or shaking it too vigorously. He can now sit on his own with no problem at all and is inching himself around the floor with his little hands and feet like a little catapillar. He will be crawling before we know it. I can't believe how quickly all of this is happening. It seems like just a month ago he was my little newborn baby.

March 23rd, Brody's very first airplane ride. He went with Nonnie and Momma to LA for Market. What a trip. It was momma's first big trip with a little baby too. Talk about tiring. He did such a great job. I think Momma was more nervous then he was. My little boy is growing up!!!!!

March 18th, Brody's first taste of solid food! Yummy rice cereal. He was a little unsure of it at first then decided that it wasn't that bad. Now he has tried bananas, sweet potatoes, peaches, pears, greenbeans, sqaush, avocado, applesauce, carrots and oatmeal. His very favorite is of course... bananas!!!! He can scarf a whole jar of nanners down in nothing flat. :)

Welcome Baby Koppert

2007-04-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

Grant Jason Koppert was born on Saturday April 14th. Isn't he a little cutie!!! Christine we are soooo excited for you. He has a full head of hair like his buddy Brody. We love you little Grant baby!!!!!!!

Firsts

2007-04-12T17:54:00.000-07:00

It has appeared that Brody has been quite fussy this week. I know some of you are saying to yourself "who Brody" but really he is quite a happy little dude. I was wondering just how I was going to stay sane while attending to such a demanding little guy and not getting any sleep. (No he is not sleeping through the night yet!)

Well today he and I went to our second home, yes the shop. Nonnie was there today and apparently is a little more observant than I am. Perhaps it's because I am a walking zombie. Anyway Nonnie is holding Broders and declares "Cory he has a tooth coming in." What a wonderful momma I am. Here I am getting sooo frustrated at my little dumpling for being fussy when he is actually handling the pain of cutting teeth quite well. My babies first little tooth is coming in!!!!!! Another FIRST of several that have all occurred throughout this past month. Wow!!!

STAY TUNED

2007-04-07T08:35:00.000-07:00

Okay, tax season is nearing it's long awaited end and I will have access to my computer again!!!!!! Yeah! We have had such an exciting past few months, full of many firsts for little mister. Can't wait to share them with you all!!!!!!

And So It Is... Bronchialitis!

2007-03-14T18:10:00.000-07:00

Yep, my baby has another ear infection in his right ear as well as bronchialitis!!!! He has had a cold (congestion and runny nose) for about 2.5 weeks. The congestion seemed to be getting better, than last Thursday he started up with a cough and the congestion started coming back. Yesterday he woke up wheezing so Matt and I decided it was time to take him in to see the doc.

So now little Brody is on breathing treatments, as needed, a prescribed steroid to help loosen up his "tight" lungs for three days, and amoxicillin for his ear infection. Poor baby!!!

He has really been such a good sport through it all. He started off thinking that it was kind of funny when mommy suctioned snot out of his nose. Now he isn't too fond of it! Occasionally he will allow the intrusion and smile patiently at me. I think he knows that it breaks my heart to see him in any form of discomfort. He has been a little more clingy and very tired the past two days.

This morning we tried the breathing treatment for the first time. I was a little nervous as I didn't know how it was going to go and the thought of holding him down to place a mask over his face wasn't sounding too pleasant. I think the loud sound of the machine scared him more than anything. When I attempted to put the mask on his face he wasn't too sure about it and started fussing. Daddy kneeled down with him and talked him through it singing and making Brody smile. Eventually Brody grabbed the mask, holding it on his face himself. In fact I had to pry it out of his little hands! :) Of course what he really wanted was to stick it in his mouth and nibble on it. Whatever works huh!

INSPIRING

2007-03-08T17:38:00.000-08:00

Honor who you are and who you will become. Leave room in your busy life for those who adore you... just in case you ever question your MAGIC!!!!!

This day at the park has really been on my heart. My '"life as I know it" has been directly influenced by my big sis in sooooo many positive ways.

I am truly blessed to have such a loving big sis who has such great inner strength

(not saying she doesn't have any outer strength; she's one tough cookie even though she is the smallest of the five turgie sisters)

Thank you Hi-me for being such a strong example of self reflection, strength, courage, motivation, discipline, patience and love!!!!

YOU MY DARLIN ARE ONE AMAZING WOMAN

and I, among many others, am so very proud of who you are.

My How Time Flies

2007-03-07T19:42:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe that Brody will be six months old on the 29th!!!! He is really becoming such a little boy. He is constantly grabbing whatever is in reach and putting EVERYTHING in his mouth.

Johnny Jumper is his very favorite thing right now. He will bounce himself all around and is very content. However if no one is paying attention to him he will fuss until he gets one of us to look at him. Once he gets our attention he will smile or laugh, returning to his jumping, pleased as punch.

He is rolling over from back to tummy and from tummy to back now. He tries very hard to scoot himself but isn't quite there yet. He is in the stage of being very frustrated at wanting to do sooo much and being very limited, physically. He loves "tubby time!" He will lay on his back looking up at me and splish splash all over. I can't wait to take him swimming.

His little individuality is starting to shine. He will grab something and when taken from him will become upset. He Makes sure that Matt or I know that he was not happy by our actions. Despite those first fussy months, Brody is now a very happy little boy. What a joy!!!

"Mini Me"

2007-03-07T08:59:00.000-08:00

I looked at Brody in Matt's glasses and thought, "that is me!" Unfortunately for this little guy, Brody will probably be wearing glasses sooner than later. He is such a little stud muffin!!!

"Sissy"

2007-03-07T08:32:00.000-08:00

Brody LOVES Charly. If he is crying and Charly walks by Brody will stop crying and just watch her (or his brothers Jasper and Chancey). He loves to grab Charly's ear's or beard and of course bring them to his mouth. That is when Mommy has to step in and intercept. Charly is sooo good with Brody. She is very gentle and patient and loves to lick Brody's head, feet, face or hands. This will usually bring a smile to Brody's face and an occasional laugh.

Like Father Like Son

2007-02-25T12:28:00.000-08:00

I came home from running errands to find Daddy and Brody waiting in the bedroom to suprise Mommy like this. I couldn't stop laughing and had to take a picture. Matt has so much fun with little Brody. Although he would never admit this to anyone else, Matt likes to dress himself to match what Brody is wearing. I think it's cute!!